It has become pretty commonplace for me.
Now don't deny it. You just turned to the person next to you, or yelled to your husband on the couch, or went outside and found your pesky neighbor and said "Chief really needs to amp up her medication." You did that didn't you? Well, I forgive you because you don't know the whole story. And, frankly, I've had a lot of practice forgiving people that say that.
The farm has a lot of scorpions. And when I say a lot, I mean this:
Here's the process for entering the door of the farmhouse when we first arrive for the weekend.
- I fumble for the keys in my purse. The only light is from the Chief's truck headlights. I am practically blinded.
- I put the key in the lock and turn, then push the door open while simultaneously jumping backward at least a foot.
- I wait and watch for the scorpion to fall off either the top of the door or the door facing. If there is no falling scorpion, I carefully scan the door frame to find the scorpion that is curled up there in the scorpion fetal position.
- I reach in and quickly flip the light switch on in the kitchen.
- I immediately begin stepping on the scorpions that are now running pell-mell across the floor.
Last time, we got seven in the first 10 minutes we were there.
But enough of all that hoopla.
Now let's talk about being stung by a scorpion in bed at 3:00 in the morning while you are sound asleep. Mind you, I have been visiting the farm for a LONG TIME, and never, in all that time (until two months ago) had this happened. I was awakened from a sound sleep by a searing pain in my left forearm. I swatted at the offending area with my right hand (oops, I swatted it toward the Chief's side of the bed) while deftly jumping out of bed and yelling "I was stung!" This takes coordination, people. We switched on the lamps, turned back the covers and there he was strolling across the pretty blue 400 thread -count sheets.
And here's what the Chief said. "Well, look at it this way, you took one for the team. Statistically the chances that anyone else (him) will get stung in bed by a scorpion any time in the near future just dropped to almost zero!" "You go, girl!"
He's all about sympathy.
To get your mind off the creepy stuff, here's a great recipe I just created last week which is really (if I may say so myself) scrumptiously(?) tasty.
And in homage to my friend Kendra I've tried to be more creative when I name the recipes....
Savory Autumn Beef Stew
1 round steak (1-1/2 lbs.) cut into 1/2 inch cubes
1 medium onion, chopped (yellow or white)
1 medium red bell pepper, chopped
1 c. cubed butternut squash (use the chainsaw on this if necessary!)
1/2 c. frozen green peas
1/2 c. frozen corn
1/2 c. sliced carrots
1 T.Better than Bouillon (Beef flavor) *and yes, I put this in everything!
2. c. cubed red potatoes
1 (14 oz.) can tomato sauce
2 c. beef broth
2. c. water
salt and pepper
Brown the steak, onion, red bell pepper, carrots, and squash in a dutch oven in about 3 T. vegetable oil. Cook over medium heat about 5-7 minutes.
Add the Better than Bouillon and potatoes and cook 3-4 minutes more.
Add the peas, corn, and broth. Cook 3-4 more minutes.
Add the tomato sauce and water, reduce to a simmer and cook for 20-30 minutes.
Salt and pepper to taste.
****The key to the great taste of this stew is the sweetness of the squash. Don't leave it out.