Note to Self: Try Following Directions

I have a habit.



It may or may not be bad.



No, it's bad.



I tend to err on the side of NOT following instructions.



Instructions, directions, suggestions, recommendations, whatever you want to call them.



Let's just say I prefer to blaze my own trail.



Yes, that's it.




I'm a trailblazer.



I travel my Own Path where I frolic barefoot while tossing flower petals in the spring air.



(And in my mind I'm young and thin while I'm frolicking...)


oh, and tan.



And I'm wearing a blue and white dotted swiss empire waist dress that ties in the back with a blue satin ribbon...




And at the end of this happy trail everything turns out great...



Or,




I suppose,



you could also say I wander a path upon which I Frequently Screw Things Up.


I just like the frolic and flower thing so much better.



This unfortunate malady may or may not be a lingering result of one of the following:


1. One time I hit my head so hard on the hitch of a trailer that it left a dent in my skull.



2. I ate an awful lot of SONIC ice in the eighties.


But whatever the cause, I've taken the first step.


I admit it.


I have a problem.



It tends to crop up alot when I cook.


There are all those pesky directions that come with recipes.


Those are for Other People.


Not for me.


I don't need Direction.



And it's really kind of funny, isn't it, that's why I'm writing this post.




It's possible, I suppose, that on occasion things might go better for me if I, LET'S SAY just TRIED to follow directions.



There.




I said it.


It's a good thing I'm sitting down.


The instructions for the muffins pictured at top clearly stated the following:







a. " This recipe makes 16 muffins, don't fill each one too full with batter."





b. " When adding the crumb topping, make sure you don't put so much that it falls outside the top of each cup- the muffins will stick to the pan and be hard to remove."




Well, as you can see I blazed my happy trail.




Don't cry for me, Argentina...




Here was my thinking (as convoluted as it may seem).




a. "Big muffins are better than small muffins. I don't want to use another muffin pan, and I certainly don't want to use just a PORTION of another muffin pan!"




"I will make 12 Big Lovely muffins."




b. "A lot of crumb topping is better than a little, and I certainly don't want to have any crumb topping left unused.




"I would have to EAT the leftover crumb topping."




Which granted, would not have been a horrible chore, as I had already eaten a substantial amount of it during the preparation phase...

So let's fast forward.

Surprisingly, The Chief has suggested on more than one occasion that I fast forward when I'm telling a story...

This was how the first muffin looked after I used all of The Chief's heavy equipment including a chisel, jackhammer, air compressor, and forklift to remove it from the pan.

And this is the part of the muffin left in the pan.

And this is how I was forced to eat said muffin.

With a spoon.

And this is how the next one came out after I let the rest of them sit overnight.

Luckily I could take care of that one with just a fork.


So with you all as my witnesses,

I'm starting a "To Do" list.


Lord Help Me.


#1. Think about, consider, contemplate, "toss around" the idea of

Maybe following Directions.

Amen