I have a habit.
It may or may not be bad.
No, it's bad.
I tend to err on the side of NOT following instructions.
Instructions, directions, suggestions, recommendations, whatever you want to call them.
Let's just say I prefer to blaze my own trail.
Yes, that's it.
I'm a trailblazer.
I travel my Own Path where I frolic barefoot while tossing flower petals in the spring air.
(And in my mind I'm young and thin while I'm frolicking...)
oh, and tan.
And I'm wearing a blue and white dotted swiss empire waist dress that ties in the back with a blue satin ribbon...
And at the end of this happy trail everything turns out great...
you could also say I wander a path upon which I Frequently Screw Things Up.
I just like the frolic and flower thing so much better.
This unfortunate malady may or may not be a lingering result of one of the following:
1. One time I hit my head so hard on the hitch of a trailer that it left a dent in my skull.
2. I ate an awful lot of SONIC ice in the eighties.
But whatever the cause, I've taken the first step.
I admit it.
I have a problem.
It tends to crop up alot when I cook.
There are all those pesky directions that come with recipes.
Those are for Other People.
Not for me.
I don't need Direction.
And it's really kind of funny, isn't it, that's why I'm writing this post.
It's possible, I suppose, that on occasion things might go better for me if I, LET'S SAY just TRIED to follow directions.
I said it.
It's a good thing I'm sitting down.
The instructions for the muffins pictured at top clearly stated the following:
a. " This recipe makes 16 muffins, don't fill each one too full with batter."
b. " When adding the crumb topping, make sure you don't put so much that it falls outside the top of each cup- the muffins will stick to the pan and be hard to remove."
Well, as you can see I blazed my happy trail.
Don't cry for me, Argentina...
Here was my thinking (as convoluted as it may seem).
a. "Big muffins are better than small muffins. I don't want to use another muffin pan, and I certainly don't want to use just a PORTION of another muffin pan!"
"I will make 12 Big Lovely muffins."
b. "A lot of crumb topping is better than a little, and I certainly don't want to have any crumb topping left unused.
"I would have to EAT the leftover crumb topping."
Which granted, would not have been a horrible chore, as I had already eaten a substantial amount of it during the preparation phase...
So let's fast forward.
Surprisingly, The Chief has suggested on more than one occasion that I fast forward when I'm telling a story...
This was how the first muffin looked after I used all of The Chief's heavy equipment including a chisel, jackhammer, air compressor, and forklift to remove it from the pan.
And this is the part of the muffin left in the pan.
And this is how I was forced to eat said muffin.
With a spoon.
And this is how the next one came out after I let the rest of them sit overnight.
Luckily I could take care of that one with just a fork.
So with you all as my witnesses,
I'm starting a "To Do" list.
Lord Help Me.
#1. Think about, consider, contemplate, "toss around" the idea of
Maybe following Directions.