Have you seen my Mojo?
It's missing and I need it back.
And by the way
I never saw the movie,
but how on earth
"Stella Get Her Groove Back"?
my groove has gone
along with my Mojo.
It kind of all started Saturday.
I stopped by the mailbox to get the mail,
which on a typical day I can usually pull off without
I parked my car close to the curb,
stepped up to the mailbox,
removed the mail from said mailbox,
stepped back down off the curb,
twisted my ankle like a pretzel,
and fell sideways into the driver's seat of my car
hitting my back/shoulder on the steering wheel.
Do yourself a favor and don't try to conjure up a mental picture.
It ain't pretty.
Anyway, my ankle hurt SO bad at the time
that I didn't give much thought to my back/shoulder,
until later that night when
I woke up with a start
that The Chief had
a cattle prod
from the farm and was
plunging it into my shoulder.
But, I mean, I have things to do
Places to go, cakes to ice, Father's to celebrate,
So at 6:30 in the morning I got up
to make 7 minute icing for a coconut cake I made for
And for all you non-bakers - 7 minute icing is a mixture of sugar, egg whites, water, vanilla, and corn syrup that must be beaten for EXACTLY seven minutes in a double boiler over boiling water.
I had forgotten a teensy little detail.
My hand mixer was at the farm.
All I have is my big Kitchenaid,
although you can do all kinds of wonderful,
delightful things with that Big Boy,
you can't beat anything over boiling water.
being the industrious,
totally desperate person I am,
I decided to use the immersion blender.
Which, I might add, is NOT made for beating 7 minute icing.
Or anything else.
If I tilted the blender even the slightest bit,
burning hot sticky sugar sap flew everywhere!
The counter, the cabinets, the floor, the fridge, MY FACE!
To try to protect myself, I held a dish towel over my face,
which as you would guess,
rendered me blind
to the bowl,
And as you can also guess
I finally tied the dish towel around the lower part of my face,
like a bandit,
and did my best to finish off the icing.
After about 30 minutes of my intermittent yelping and howling,
The Chief wandered in from the bedroom.
"I thought someone was killing you in here," he said dryly,
"You sure have been yelling a lot."
And to be honest,
I haven't yet decided how to respond to that...
Then he wandered off to take a shower,
shaking his head
and muttering something
about the definition of insanity...
and doing the same thing
over and over
and expecting a different result.
Well, Thank you Dr. Phil.
That was Sunday morning.
I have ALMOST
removed the last vestiges
of the syrup,
from my kitchen
just this morning I did see
run his tongue all the way across the floor
And then last night to top things off
I decided to
the laundry room.
I was hand washing
one of The Chief's shirts
in the sink in the laundry room.
(And no, I don't generally handwash the man's shirts,
I'm not sure what had gotten into me...)
I was rinsing the shirt,
when I suddenly remembered
that I had the bread
for The Chief's corned beef sandwich
on the griddle in the kitchen,
so I ran in to take it off before
Then I made his sandwich.
Then I ate some of the corned beef.
Then I contemplated how
good it was.
Then I ate some of the pineapple-mango salsa
I made to accompany the sandwich.
And I contemplated how good IT was.
Then I drank some TAB.
Then I heard something that sounded alot
like a waterfall.
A waterfall, I mean.
In the laundry room.
It was really, really bad.
And without going into the gory details
of the clean-up,
of The Chief's appearance at PRECISELY,
the worst time,
let's just suffice it to say that
I'm trying to decide which angle to work...
Isn't the flooding REALLY The Chief's fault since
1. It was his shirt I was HANDWASHING??
2. It was his HOMEMADE CORNED BEEF SANDWICH WITH PINEAPPLE-MANGO SALSA
that I was preparing?????
or should I go with blaming our
who on EARTH ever heard of a very deep sink in a laundry room not having
an OVERFLOW DRAIN DUMAFLITCHY????
I think you can see,
I need to get my groove/mojo
So if you come across mine-
Please send it home.