I mentioned in another post that we had some stuff, some excitement go on around here the other night.
Now I think it goes without saying that I am not the cruel type that would 'tease' you with SUCH intriguing, dare I say, tantalizing, information and not carry through with the story. So, this morning at about 3 in the A.M. when I was laying wide awake trying to decide with how much force I needed to yank on the covers to at LEAST COVER HALF OF MY BODY, I realized that I had, in fact, left all of you in the proverbial lurch, so to speak.
You should know, too, that I was never able to go back to sleep, because as I mentioned I started THINKING at 3 in the A.M. which apparently sets off some kind of complex and mysterious chemical reaction in my brain that you just have to believe is not good.
Anyway, the other night I was doing something of vital importance on my computer (there are blogs to read and FB to check, you know - and they're certainly not going to read/check themselves). My computer is in the sunroom which is just off the kitchen. The Chief was sequestered in his study (down the back bedroom hall) really and truly doing things of vital importance (like calculating how much money I spent last month on TAB).
I'm painting a mental picture for you here. Setting the scene.
When all of a sudden what sounded exactly like a gunshot (The Glock 27, I believe) rang through the kitchen area.
It was loud. I had all manner of a rapid heartbeat and some kind of palpitations.
THANK GOODNESS The Weege was outside at the time, because gunshots, thunder, cardboard, and white plastic bags are his biggest personal fears.
I was just about to drop to the ground on my belly and crawl on my elbows to safety, when The Chief SAUNTERED around the corner and said (not "OH MY GOSH ARE YOU OK, MY PRECIOUSNESS!?") but instead he said
and I quote
"What did you break now, Lu"?
Well, Thank You.
Apparently I am, in a word, RELENTLESS IN MY DESTRUCTION.
What had actually happened was this.
That's my breakfast room table (the very same table where just an hour before The Chief and I had enjoyed a delightful Green Chili Chicken Enchilada Soup and Shrimp Quesadillas with a Mango Salsa...) littered with the remains of the glass bottom that fell from one of my very favorite lighting fixtures.
And lest I become somewhat sarcastic and go on about The Chief''s OBVIOUS concern about my welfare, I'll just say that we spent the next few hours cleaning up glass from THE ENTIRE HOUSE, and admiring the additional "distressing" that now graces the top of my table. Had I known it was this easy I wouldn't have paid extra for the 'antique' look when I ordered the table in the first place.
Clearly my work here is done.
Just remember if you come by my house you'll need to keep your shoes on for the next few weeks.
P.S. I apologize for the unnecessary wordiness of this post. Evidently this is a result of sleep deprivation. Because, you know, I'm hardly ever wordy. Ever.