Any of the -ates.
But I was, what you might call a wee bit unsuccessful.
So for your reading pleasure (OH I know, my hopes, they are high) I present to you many disparate and mundane thoughts in an easy-to-read bulleted format.
*Under the heading 'Like I Said This is Pretty Mundane', I offer this bit of trivia: In the last three days
I've had the opportunity to visit three different WalMart stores. It's not necessarily with pride that I share this, but rather concern. These visits have prompted me to CALL MY CONGRESSMAN and ask him to introduce some type of bill/legislation called the NATIONAL WALMART STORE CONSISTENCY BILL that would
It is stressful enough for anyone to be in one of the WalMarts for three days in a row, much less, sweet mercy, to have to figure out why in store # 3 the Q-tips are not in fact in the same location as stores #1 and/or #2 and why the Fage Yogurt is next to the cheese in stores #1 and #3, yet NOWHERE NEAR THE CHEESE in store #2.
With all my I heart believe this to be a problem of national importance.
And I would not even dislike it if they elected to name the bill after me.
* Driving up to the farm today, I noticed a lot of Firework stands already set up and selling pyrotechnics. Without releasing absolutely all of my angry let me just say this:
If you live in The Southern United States Currently Wracked By Severe Drought and you are willing to chance the incineration of more homes, acreage, businesses and lives by buying and shooting off fireworks, then by golly I doubt you have sense enough to be trusted even to celebrate with a noisemaker horn and confetti.
Please excuse my language.
* Continuing on.
When I got here to the farmhouse I was distraught to find 1) 14 scorpions, and 2) THAT THE AIR CONDITIONER WASN'T WORKING.
Taking care of the scorpions was easy enough, but the air conditioner problem proved to be a little tricky.
The Chief will be delighted when he comes up and sees that I have completely rewired the house using only some twist ties, an ice pick and 3 flattened TAB cans.
He always says it brings SUCH JOY TO HIS HEART when I take care of the electrical problems in my special way.
*The Chief asked me to put out some feed for the cows when I got here.
It was HOT when I arrived. So hot, in fact, that I felt sure my ability to run at an adequate speed( without expiring) to escape the
the stampede that always begins soon after they hear the rustle of a feed sack would be compromised.
Albeit, my ability to run at any speed is fairly compromised no matter the temperature.
I also realized that to get The Mule out of the barn I have to first start, then remember how to drive, all manner of tractors, balers, mowers, etc...just to squeeze The Mule out.
So. In conclusion. I do hope the cows are still hungry in the morning.