I heard once that some people go on vacation to rest.
They sleep late, they dawdle around in their luxurious accommodations, sip pretty drinks on their balconies and then they go eat at a wonderful restaurant.
End of day.
I even happen to know some people
myself personally who go on vacation to shop, have massages, manicures and pedicures and fancy treatments on their skin.
They put lemon slices on their middle-age dark under-eye circles.
I do not live with those people.
When our two sons met us in Santa Fe last week, the conversation about what we wanted to do over the next several days went something like this...
Me: "I would love to go shopping."
The Chief and The Boys (TCTB): " We have to go on a hike. A good one. We could do the trail up at White Rock down to the Rio Grande, it's pretty easy. Not sure about The Weege though, do you think he would make it OK? His legs are pretty short. Oh he'll be fine - if he has problems we can just lift him up or down. It's only about a 2 hour thing. There are some springs and ponds on the way down that he could swim in and cool off.
Oldest Son: "That's the one I took a bunch of kids on when I was working at the camp- they all made it OK. Eventually."
Me: "Wait. Is it really steep or anything." I don't do steep very well. Remember, I don't rappel. I don't get strapped to ropes, and I don't do anything that requires the use of the terms
handhold or
foothold.
And I would love to go shopping."
TCTB: "Mom/Lu, Seriously. You can go shopping anywhere. We've got to get out and enjoy the beauty, the great weather.
OK that's decided, White Rock it is."
Me: "Is it
steep?"
The drive to White Rock was pretty and this was the view from the start of the trail.
Not too bad. Although what I couldn't see was that not too far down there is what the boys like to call an
optical illusion and I like to call a
sheer cliff.
Like we had only been walking about 5 minutes and I was having to sit down and lower myself from rock to rock.
And it was at this point that Oldest Son began a series of proclamations in which he declared "Don't worry Mom, this is
absolutely the steepest part."
He said this every 10 minutes for the next 4 hours.
Overall, I made it OK but not great going down. I just stayed behind everyone else and took my time, but I couldn't help but notice that my balance seemed way off. The Chief even remarked on my wobbly-ness.
And all that worry about The Weege?
Turns out he is 1/2 Mountain Goat. He would actually run ahead with Youngest Son (yes, running) and then they would sit and wait for me...
(Both of the boys live in New Mexico and hike at higher altitudes all the time.)
Near the bottom (where you finally reach the Rio grande) there are some great little streams and a pond with a waterfall where we rested for a while.
Weegie was having the time of his life.
Every time he saw water he had to get in.
Young Son was ready to head back up after just a few minutes rest.
Oldest Son stuck his feet in the really cold water while Weegie made another lap.
The Chief checking out the waterfall.
Just a small one, but pretty nonetheless.
After a brief rest we walked just a bit farther and there was the Rio Grande.
You might be able to see The Chief and Sons way down there. Somewhere along the way, we entered a field which was covered in stickers and after the boys spent about 15 minutes pulling 100's out of Weegie's feet, they went farther downstream with Weege to avoid the field. I, on the other hand, took the absolute shortest route.
Really. What's a few stickers when you're practically dead anyway?
Now it was time to head back up. It only took a minute or two of ascent (that's a fancy climbing word for going straight up) for me to realize that something wasn't quite right.
I was not quite right.
I would look at my foot and tell it to take a step up, but somewhere in translation/encryption the message that was apparently sent to my foot was more along the lines of " You stay right where you are and pretend you are a heavy anvil, and while you're at it kind of shake like some jello."
Hmm.
The trip back up was supposed to take about an hour. It took about 2 1/2. Oldest Son blamed the meltdown on my lack of water intake on the first part of the hike, so I was forced to drink huge quantities on the return.
I could (with the aid of a walking stick) climb for about 3-5 minutes before I had to stop and sit or even lay down. The Chief stayed behind me the whole way with one hand on my back.
There was some serious talk at one point of a helicopter. And then a very long conversation between the 3 guys about cutting some long branches and sticking them down through the legs of my jeans (oh yes, while I was still wearing them) to fashion a crude gurney-type thing and then dragging me the rest of the way up.
Kind of like a shish-kebab.
I think there was some laughter involved here, but I was delirious, so I can't be sure.
I picked out several places on the way up where I begged them to just leave me. I would be happy to just die there. It was, after all, very pretty.
But, long story short. They didn't leave me, I made it, and the diagnosis was altitude sickness.
And all that baloney I've been throwing out lately about going to Zumba and Pilates and getting in shape?
It looks like I'm a Big Fat Liar.
And while Weegie is 1/2 Mountain Goat?
Turns out I'm at least 3/4 Beached Sea Walrus.
Lu