Monday, June 25, 2012

Risky Business As Usual

Well things have been really, really busy around here. Most of the activities are very secret though, and classified and all so, darn it,  I'm not at liberty to share.

In other words, absolutely nothing is going on.

I ran some errands today which included a trip to SAM's. I was all excited because I had carefully studied my special e-value member brochure and was all set to buy large quantities of paper products and toilet cleaner even though I didn't need them because I was going to save 2.00! on plastic storage bags and 5.00! on plastic storage containers and 2.00! on Lysol bathroom cleaner and such (and some other spectacular savings!) And when you save 2.00! and 5.00! and 2.00! and other spectacular savings! it kind of cancels out the fact that you'll end up with HUGE BOXES of paper products that you have absolutely nowhere to store- cancels it out at least until you get home and realize what you've done.

Then you just want to be rid of it all and get your money back.

But as things would go, the nice cashier rang up my total and I noticed that there was no 2.00! or 5.00! savings showing up on the computer. No spectacular savings anywhere. Nada. And bless her heart if she didn't listen to my sob story about how I didn't need any of it and BIG BOXES and no storage and stuff, and then she delicately showed me the brochure that I had carefully studied and kindly pointed out the effective date of June 27 which by my calculations is two days away, and then she politely told me I had just bought exactly 249.00 worth of stuff I didn't need in very large boxes.

And I paid for it it anyway because I'm pathetic and sad. And I needed to teach myself a lesson.

Then after spending approximately 47 minutes cramming it all in my car I drove home while I ate an entire large bag of Pirate's Booty and drank a Diet Coke which had hours ago melted into a watery mess.


In other news,

several of you asked to see pictures of my backyard.

There's this...

Oh and this...

I looked out the back window and saw The Chief perched precariously atop the back fence while sawing a tree that had fallen over during the last little storm.

I mentioned a few things about safety! and insurance! and maybe even pain! and falling! and then I just stopped. Mainly because he may have a teensy problem with choosing to think that he is invincible.

After all I figured I was already prepared for any kind of injury. I could just haul him in the house using the furniture dolly and then use my 36 rolls of Charmin Extra Strength! as a full body gauze wrap.

Did you know it doesn't have perforations?  Extra. Strength.


Thursday, June 21, 2012

I Suppose Leeches May Have Worked Too


This afternoon, for fun, I had my elbow drained. It really wasn't too bad, and although I am theoretically unopposed to the occasional blood-letting, I think I'll put off my next one for a week or so.

Or forever.

No reason to use up all my fun at once.

(Just in case you were wondering, most of this post will be about my elbow so feel free to abandon ship right now if need be.) (Because, really. IT'S ALL SO RIVETING)

About three weeks ago I noticed that my left elbow was extremely sensitive. Until your elbow hurts, you never notice how many times a day it touches things. Or things touch it. Like the wall. Or the table. Or the door handle in the car. After one particularly nasty encounter with the edge of a bar stool I was almost tempted to poke my own eye out from the pain, but after a little intense contemplation I chose the agony of elbow pain over, you know, losing my eyesight.

Who said I wasn't a rational kind of girl?

Anyway, after about 4 or 5 days of contact pain, everything seemed to clear up and and it looked like I was once again basking in the glow of elbow normalcy.

Until 4 days ago when a bulging golf ball-sized pocket of fluid formed.

It was as lovely as it sounds.

The crowning glory was the bright redness and the burning sensation. It felt hot to the touch. In true sensible form I just decided that I'd have to stick with the 3/4 length sleeve for a while and I believe at one point I may have said something equally sensible like  "why couldn't this blasted thing show up on my arm in winter? it would be so much more convenient, not to mention fashion friendly".

I know.

Luckily God spoke to me in a dream (or maybe it was The Chief) and said "get thee to the doctor".

Thus the draining. And the horse-sized antibiotics.

And the Tasmanian Devil band-aid.

I may never take it off.


Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Lo, It Has Begun

The following is a post that I started yesterday...

Although it's seemed like summer around here for weeks now, today makes it official. I thought about a parade or maybe some fireworks but the former seems like an awful lot of trouble and the latter makes me jumpy.

Let's just settle for a hearty salute to the days of never-ending hot.

Here's the officially sanctioned Summer ABC's.

(For legal verification, please have your people contact, you know, mine.)

A is for agrodolce - Now I can't tell you why exactly, but about a week ago I woke up one morning and this was on my mind. Does that happen to you? I mean, do you wake up sometimes and have unusual things on your mind? Like a sweet and sour Italian sauce? I do.
This morning it was band aids.

B is for bluebird (the eastern variety) - We have one scoping out an old antique birdhouse in our backyard. I'm not sure if the birdhouse will pass inspection, though. Bluebirds are notoriously finicky about their nesting boxes and have a long list of must-haves. I'm thinking that the fact that an overweight squirrel frequently takes a nap on top of said birdhouse each afternoon is going to be a negative.
Clearly, location is not everything.

C is for cantaloupe- It was probably an accident when the lady dropped the cantaloupe on my foot in the HEB on Monday. I want to believe it was an accident, I do. Although I've never personally myself dropped a fruit the size of my head on anyone else's foot, I'm just thinking that I would apologize... probably profusely. But she didn't. Not even a tiny "oops, so sorry". Nada. As a matter of fact, she seemed kind of miffed that my foot was down there. You know, attached to my leg and all.

D is for Dallas - Are you watching? Me, not so much.

E is for Evinrude - They make boat motors. We got the boat out the last time we were at the farm. There was lightning and darkness involved. Don't ask. It was scary.

F is for fennel - Every single recipe featured on the Food Channel lately contains fennel. I can't stand the taste of fennel. I'm one who can eat stale bread, moldy cheese, and Twinkies like there's no tomorrow, but fennel? No.

G is for gross...

G is for gross? Really?

That's when I knew. I just wasn't going to be able to finish the alphabet. I don't have it in me right now.

But y'all. We can't let summer start without the ABC's.

So I'm asking for your help. Pick a letter, any letter. Write something summer-related.

Leave it in the comments here or even on Facebook - I'm too sweaty to care.

I'm counting on you.


Monday, June 18, 2012

Sneak Peek

I thought I'd better show you some pictures of my yard while it was all still alive. This time last year there was very little green.

The bougainvillea in the courtyard is looking good. I love the dark pink color.

My shrimp plants love the heat and are just beginning to bloom heavily. In the background is my beloved Meyer lemon tree. Last year I got over 50 lemons from that little bush-this year it looks like I'll only have 15 or so.

This side of the courtyard gets some intense afternoon sun so I keep most of my succulents over here. The Crown of Thorns in the blue pot was nearly dead when I finally gave up my dream of having it in the house. It loves the sun and has looked and felt so much better since it went to live with it's hardier outdoor kinfolk.

It told me so.

The two baskets on the wall are recently planted and not very lush at this point. They contain two of my very favorite plants- chartreuse potato vine (watch out! it will take over everything!) and my all-time favorite Scaevola or blue wonder.

All of the coleus plants in the courtyard came up as "volunteers". That's what my Mom always calls plants that just come up here and there from the seeds of last years plants. There were so many about a month ago that I thinned them out to give some of them a chance to thrive. The variety of patterns is incredible.

Here's a few.

Somewhere in the middle of all these coleus is my antique English statue of a frog couple. I should probably move it...

I love succulents - they remind me of New Mexico!

Some are so mean and spiny. Others, like baby toes in the front left, are just smooth and cute!

In my herb garden in the side yard, things are getting a bit out of hand. The parsley is taking over the world, and the multiple basil selections are growing faster than I can make pesto and paninis!

Help me.

The sage is abundant, the parsley keeps bolting, and the odd, shiny-leaved plant to the left has evil one inch spines growing from all the stems. It came up out of nowhere and I'm determined to figure out what it is. It looks similar to a crown of thorns, but isn't...

Some of my rosemary plants in the side yard. This spring, these two large plants got some kind of odd scale or something that made the leaves appear pale and gold-ish.  It seems to be going away for the most part and they're looking much greener. I have some other rosemary plants that weren't affected. 

Thank goodness. I'm not sure what I'd do with out my salad dressing.

Another succulent pot. This one has been a challenge. I like to call it The Difficult Pot. I've already replaced two or three plants that were original members of the group.

Evidently I'm not playing the right music for them - what genre do you think succulents prefer?



I'll try to take some pictures of the backyard sometime this week.

Happy Monday,


Friday, June 15, 2012

I Can Only Imagine

One year ago today I was blessed to be with my Daddy as he left his earthly home and entered his Heavenly one.

He would love the above photo. His favorite place on earth. He'd be thrilled to know the rain was still coming, the grass was still green, and the cows were fat and happy. And in mid-June! Wow!

I can only imagine the beauty that he beholds each and every day now. Each and every moment of forever. I'll see it one day too, and I can't wait to hear what Daddy has to say about it all.

I Can Only Imagine (by MercyMe)

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk 
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

Surrounded by your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence, or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing Hallelujah will I be able to speak at all

I can only imagine
I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
And I find myself
Standing in the sun

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship you

I can only imagine

 You are loved and missed Daddy. Happy Father's Day!


Thursday, June 14, 2012

Step One: Identifying the Underlying Issue

Well, I can't seem to fix it, but at least I know what the problem is.

I'm boring.

Yep. All kinds of boring.
I wanted to write an exciting new post and realized that all I ever write about is food, cows, Weegie, and scorpions. Seriously, you can find that kind of stuff anywhere, right? I need to branch out. Become more cosmopolitan.

When you log on to this site each and every morning you need to know that you're in for something fresh. Something unexpected. So I thought about some interesting topics that you all might enjoy.

1. Travel

I love travel. The problem is I just don't do it very often. At least not the kind that most people think of as "travel" - like to go somewhere new and exotic and enjoy fun and exciting things. Like swimming with dolphins or sipping something while reclining on fancy chaise lounges while dressed in a bikini (sweet. mercy. please. no.) And I realized that the most titillating travel-related story I have has to do with my excitement over The Chief reluctantly agreeing to stop at Buc-ee's on a recent trip to the farm so I could peruse their cookbook section. I got a fountain drink with ice (they give Sonic a run for their money) and even bought The Chief some cashews in a bag.
The Chief doesn't go in Buc-ee's. He believes it's a playground of the devil.

So really, I can't write about travel.

2. Entertainment

Now I guess this is a  possibility although I'm not sure how many of you would be anxious to hear my feelings on re-runs of House Hunters or how much I like Trisha Yearwood's new cooking show. I do, by the way. I don't watch American Idol or Survivor and pretty much survive on NCIS re-runs. Seriously, how cute is Tony? And you've got to love the fact that he's so full of himself.
Notice that none of my Entertainment talk even begins to include movies.
Like I said. Boring.

3. Sports

I did go to an Astros game the other day. It was fun until they decided to lose 15-2. I ate a Chicago dog and dribbled mustard all down the front of my aqua and white striped shirt. It was awesome.
That night they introduced the latest young draft pick to the crowd. He was seated near us and I mostly just watched people ask him for autographs. People are bothersome sometimes. He seemed a little overwhelmed.  Goodness sakes no wonder, I believe he's only 12. He did have on the most crisply ironed shirt I believe I've ever seen and I was tempted to pass him a secret note written on the back of my ticket and ask what kind of spray starch his mother used but the security guard was looking particularly edgy at the time.

So nothing big on the sports front.

I guess what I'm saying is this is pretty much all I've got:

But I thought it might count as "new and exciting" because this time scorpion babies are riding on the back.

Oh yes, and it's eating a cricket.

I'm looking for topics people. Help a girl out.


Monday, June 11, 2012

Fancy Poetry

We went out on a date last night,
The Chief picked me up in the Mule.
I wore torn jeans and muddy shoes,
this girl, she ain't no fool.

The Weege came along, of course he did!
The Mule never leaves without him.
He sat in the middle and barked a lot.
Just one of the charms about him...

We surveyed the grass and looked for pigs.
We barreled through creeks and gulleys.
We didn't get stuck this time at least,
sometimes it requires two pulleys.

The wildlife was lacking,
just a bird here and there.
I was hoping for snakes or for once
a Big Bear.

But searching for rocks
with The Chief was just fine.
We got into stickers
and still itch to this time.

We're not very fancy around here you know
The date was real simple and cost little dough.
But despite it's unfanciness, I think you can see
There's really no place that I'd rather be.


Friday, June 8, 2012

Everyone Clap Your Hands

Although I've checked with the authorities and it seems no one has actually been looking for me, I understand (from a trusted source) that I have in fact been missing.


Anyway, I've been found, or you might say I suppose, re-located, which in this instance means simply located again, not the other more common definition of turned up in another place.

And now that I've made all of that (along with my obvious lack of rational thinking) clear, let's get down to it.

We've been knee deep in remodeling the farmhouse. And in case any of you out there have never lost your mind and decided to remodel something, what I'm really saying is this:

We've been creating copious amounts of dust and trying not to say bad words.

And because we have been to Home Depot approximately 76 times in the last 5 days and we've had a toilet sitting on the driveway for 4 of those 5 days, I have absolutely nothing of import to say.


I did want to check in and announce the winner (drawn at random-thank you Random Integer people) of the Simple Secrets to a Happy Life giveaway though. Let's all clap our hands for Bev and her Things Don't Matter, People Do entry!!!

Yea Bev! I'll be putting that in the mail to you just as soon as I can actually find the book...

No really, I know where it is. I think it may be in the refrigerator.

My life could not be more disorganized right now.

In a day or two I'll post some of my favorite entries. Y'all are just so smart and creative, did you know that? Well you are.

I've been taking pictures at the farm and I'm sure they're somewhere in my camera. I will try to find it just as soon as we re-locate (meaning locate to another place) that toilet.

Thanks for hanging with me!


Friday, June 1, 2012

Simple Secrets to a Happy Life Giveaway!

Yesterday I posted about this great book (see post here) and today I'm giving it away! It's so easy and fun to read that I just knew I had to share it with one of you.

As I mentioned yesterday it's divided into 50 short chapters, each of which has a simple 5 word title...

Look for Ways to Help

Figure It Out for Yourself

Celebrate the Life You're Given

are just a few examples (you'll find more in yesterday's post).

To enter to win the book (I'll mail it to you!!) do the following:

In the comments section at the end of this post (not on Facebook comments please!) put your own creative (or not so much) 5 word title of your own simple secret to a Happy Life.

You're all so fun and creative- can't wait to read what you come up with!

**** And just to be clear - the winner will be chosen at random from all the entries - but special recognition and maybe a little prize!! will go to the person with the most awesome entry!